Beyond Defences

Do you ever think about how people cope with life when life is too heavy?This month’s blog is a look back at the history of psychology, and at what Freud answered to this same question!

Freud (generally considered the founder of psychoanalysis) devoted a lot of his life to understanding what people do when they are overwhelmed. He observed how people respond differently when they are overwhelmed. This idiosyncrasy is due to the way we were brought up, the people we surround ourselves with, and the experiences that we go through in life.

The point is, at a certain moment, something happened, and you coped with that event in a way that worked. Humanly, we tend to repeat things that worked, and when we successfully repeat the same thing multiple times, that becomes a coping mechanism.

The defence mechanisms that are talked about in psychology are (in simple terms) coping mechanisms. The problem is not that they exist, but that they can become rigid and no longer fit the situation we’re in.

Let’s look at some of the most common mechanisms:

Denial: We ignore reality. If the problem doesn’t exist, neither does the anxiety.For example, avoiding medical check-ups to not face a possible diagnosis.

Projection: we displace our feelings onto someone else. If someone else has these difficult or unacceptable feelings, then we don’t have to deal with them. Like feeling insecure about your attractiveness and accusing your partner of losing interest.

Somatization: psychological distress, emotion, or trauma that shows up in the body. Overwhelming experiences can be converted into physical symptoms to make them less threatening. Like headaches, IBS-like symptoms, or tension. Like someone overly stressed at work who experiences that stress as tension in their neck and shoulders.

Repression: We unconsciously push painful thoughts or emotions out of awareness. We try to minimize experiences of guilt, anxiety, or fear. Like when you go through a particularly difficult break-up, yet you feel like everything is fine. Months later, you’re struck by intense grief out of nowhere. That feeling was not processed; it was repressed.

Regression: We revert to earlier ways of coping (often more child-like). Like when you get stuck in traffic, and you throw a tantrum. This defence mechanism is more common in children and tends to be less frequent the more we age.

Rationalization: We create logical explanations for behaviours or feelings that are harder to face. This prevents us from having to deal with realities that are too harsh or with behaviours that are not in line with our moral code by finding a perfectly reasonable rationale for them. Like justifying flirting with other people because your partner doesn’t give you enough attention.

Compartmentalization: We separate conflicting parts of ourselves to reduce internal tension. We might do this to preserve our interiorized self-image. Like someone who is assertive and strict at work but loving and forgiving in their relationships. By compartmentalizing, you can hold different images of yourself without dissonance and prevent yourself from changing.

These are just a few examples, and this list is not exhaustive, but they illustrate the idea. Some of these are more straightforward and reshape reality (like denial).

If it does not exist, I don’t have to face it.

Some, instead, are more articulated or complex, and do not change reality, but instead they re-interpret it in a more manageable way (like rationalization).

If it is different, I can face it more easily.

Defence mechanisms often get a bad reputation. Even the word “defence” suggests that something must be hidden. But the truth is that these mechanisms often improve psychological and social functioning, especially in the short term. They are a way in which we preserve ourselves from difficult experiences.

And honestly, who wants to suffer?

So we cope as best as we can, using what has worked before. The difficulty begins when we rely only on one (or a few) defence mechanisms, or when these patterns become rigid. We trade flexibility and growth for safety.

But guess what? It is very difficult for improvement to develop in our comfort zone. In therapy, we explore how these coping strategies have protected you. We unpack how or when you learned them. And we investigate different ways of approaching your life. So that the costs are worth the price.

That same feeling of being stuck, of doing the same thing again and again, or not understanding why you cannot get further, can be your signal that what is keeping you there wants to be hidden. If you want to talk more about how you keep yourself safe, you can book a free 15-minute consultation. The first step is not going to get you where you want to be, but it gets you away from where you are.